* THINKING OF THE FUTURE* Dinner mukbang, counseling day and chit chat...
Dec 4, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUpDLZQ5vVY

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good morning welcome to Monday oh my
gosh you guys it is 36 degrees and I
forgot my jacket in the house I could
not go back and get it because if the
kids ought to see me go back in today
we're going to flip because they would
have wanted to go so I am braving this
cold mistress of mourning of cold
weather so cold
meaning in my defrost go in so I can
actually see out my window
moly
neighbors lookin at me laughing well I
can't see anything you know I can't
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anywho good morning you guys happy
Monday to you all I am so happy to be
back on a fresh Monday starting I am on
my way to counseling it was a very good
long weekend with potty training miss
Ezra but you know she is doing fantastic
I could not be more happy for her and
proud of her for being such just she's
doing it amazing
we're working on the whole every time
you go potty you do not have to change
her and we're because Ezra thinks every
time she goes to the bathroom she's got
to change her panties so momma lots of
laundry this weekend but you know what
she's only two she's doing amazing today
started over so last night me and Emily
went into the bedroom and I pulled on
his underwears and we told him how he's
gonna start
like espera he's gonna be a big boy he
was so excited he was like come on over
on doors I was like you can have him in
the morning we're gonna go and you know
you're gonna go and then when you wake
up in the morning you're gonna go potty
on the toilet you're gonna do so good
and so he woke up this morning ready to
rumble and I got his undies on he is
doing so good anyways and he was just
like I've been ready to hit that toilet
I put him on the toilet and he did sit
there for a few seconds and then he was
like okay I don't have to go which is
Mike you know I don't force them to sit
on the toilet but I explained to them
like you know you don't want to be on
patrol because if you pee on paw patrol
he's gonna cry and you know I just went
through the whole scenario of what
happens with paw patrol if he go peepee
on him and so he got off the toilet and
then now he is fighting us he doesn't
want to go on a toilet and we keep
encouraging him okay let's go so the
toilet and so about every 15 minutes
were Kailyn but he is he's fighting that
for sure which it's expected you know
we're not expecting him to we're not
expecting him to get it all under
control in one day you know I mean but
you know we both agreed that he's gonna
be our challenge
gerrae Omar is going to be the challenge
of the two
so when I left this morning Olli was had
him on the toilet so yeah
but I don't think he was a little too
happy about it cuz he was like now I
want to get how often yeah but you know
you know it's gonna take time it's not
you know it's not gonna happen overnight
and I am totally aware of that
so you are quite excited I am so excited
anyways and now I am getting my coffee
then I'm gonna head to counseling and
then we're probably gonna stay around
the house or at least one of us will
stay around the house all day today with
the two little ones because with Omar
just starting today with potty training
I don't want to just like take him out
of the house away from the toilet and
stuff because it's easier for him to
like get busy looking out the window and
stuff and just like let loose and forget
that hopes I have unawares on so I don't
know how much we're actually going to do
today or this week out and about because
honestly like we have to really be
around the house so anyways I will check
in with you guys when
I get out of counseling I'm gonna order
my coffee and head over that direction
and then when I get out I will check in
with you guys you guys it's not heating
up so cold I am just now getting out of
counseling
it went really well really well we
discussed boundaries and which is so
good because you know that's something
that you know I have struggled with for
I'm gonna say most of my life I have
struggled with boundaries because I just
was never taught to put boundaries into
play and so for me to put boundaries
where they need to go and not just that
but to respect those boundaries and to
also respect other people's boundaries
it's never been something of the norm
for me it's very it's something very odd
and so and with having boundaries you
have to have a voice because you've got
to be able to say you know I don't like
this or I like this or you know I agree
with this or I don't agree with this you
know type of a thing and but also
respecting that you know relationships
are relationships and people are human
so anyways
but learning the difference in
boundaries learning confidentiality with
people and all of those things all go
hand in hand they all go hand in hand
with having relationships and so I
really enjoyed today's conversation
because it really confirmed you know
because I asked her I said you know
here's the thing I said is and this is
where I need a little bit of a clearer
view what is too much to share with my
husband versus friends and people
outside of my marriage and so you know I
said because I get it you know people we
have relationships that we keep separate
but you know I share everything with my
husband I love sharing know you know
there is a fine line of what I'm talking
about when I say sharing okay
so if somebody is talking to me about
their private life you know things our
bodily functional things for females and
stuff like that like clearly I'm not
gonna go and talk to my house know that
cuz he could care less and he really
probably doesn't want to hear it but it
when I'm discussing with him about
conversations I might have had or you
know a problem maybe that has come up
with one of my relationships or
something to not matter you know I told
her I said I love chatting with my
husband and sharing those things because
you know not only does my husband have a
great outlook on things but him being
from the outside looking in he can
sometimes help me really clearly see
something that I'm not seeing and that
gives me the ability to turn around and
be like hey you know I'm sorry that I
did this or whatever it might have been
so you know in that sense it's like okay
you know I get it and so she was you
know explaining how you know with her
husband you know she shares everything
with her husband just like I do but
there's a difference but to me because
your husband your spouse okay not just
husband but your partner is your closest
person and then outside of that you have
your relationships
and those don't have to have that
intimate communication of all
relationship situations but with your
partner it's a different level just like
her she's a different level so it's you
know it makes so much sense to
experience that so I just you know I
really I I truly enjoyed today's you
know conversation we talked about you
know just a little bit of everything but
I mean that was the main topic today was
just about you know city boundaries and
you know having healthy boundaries
because I think it's I think it's
important in relationships and you know
like I said before we I wasn't raised
with boundaries I you know my family if
that we're really good about you know
when somebody farts everybody in the
family is gonna know because one picks
up the phone then they hang it up the
other one picks up the phone they hang
it up the other boat I mean it's just it
goes around the circle that someone
farted at ten thirty four pm and it's
not like a hot dog I mean I know that
sounds so gross but I'm just using that
as an example and if any of my family
are watching I'm sure they're probably
fee because they don't have totally to
blame the truth there but you know it's
just it is what it is you know and
hindsight that's just what it is so I
love the fact that I can talk to her
about all of those things and it make it
so like
you know straightforward so anyways I
hope you guys are all having a wonderful
start here as this Monday it is 40
degrees and it was 36 I came out but
it is 40 degrees now it's 11:10
I think I need to go we need a good ass
cuz I'm like I'm on empty Paulie just
texted me was I can be a red ball please
so I'm gonna go and grab him a Red Bull
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I will
get the kids and go
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I don't think we really have anything I
don't think I have anything else to
actually do the other than it was like
the main thing I needed you
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yeah that's it so anywho you guys are
probably seeing my yesterday's video now
so again congratulations Sarah Elizabeth
Smith I am so happy to and know about
you won the game you guys don't forget
to put your name in if you guys want to
be put in for your drawing for January's
wreath or January's giveaway I shouldn't
say everything because it's not always
gonna be the reason I don't think I mean
majority of them will be but it's not
every single time guaranteed anyways but
anywho so I am going to jump out really
quick because I am at the mini-mart go
grab my husband's red Bull
so I can take it home to him the kids up
on the toilet so you can go pay pay
okay you guys so clearly I am now with
the family I went home and made a few
phone calls I hate when you have to sit
on hold forever like let me tell you
that is the worst thing ever
ever
for over 45 but that gave me time to
reply to some of you guys I reached out
to Elizabeth so she could find out that
she was a winner and got a few things
done that needed to be done while I was
waiting to be talked to now we are going
to go to costco and go get gas because
we are let's see update on potty
training so Ezra's doing fantastic no
accidents he's gonna be our challenge
it's definitely our challenge he has
already had three accidents this morning
and it's not the lack of us putting them
on the toilet cuz we're putting them on
the toilet but he'll just sit there and
then once we take him off because he
says he's done then like a few minutes
later he's walking in some wet hands so
this last time we took our sweet time to
get everything together to pick him up
so that he can have the feeling of it on
his legs but because we were leaving we
went ahead and put a pull-up on him just
because we don't need any accidents if
we can help it so I did put a pool up on
him which he wasn't exactly happy about
it which makes me feel a little bit
reassured that he likes having his other
words on so what I did is I put his
underwear over his
so that way they me still have the
mindset that he has before someone and
then telling him you know if you have to
go party
we have a toilet in the car you tell us
all pajama boil it and all that good
stuff because I mean clearly we want him
to potty train but with him it might
take a little bit more extra
transitioning than it was with us right
and I've done a lot of reading on it and
they say that females are a lot easier
to promote else so so yeah that's that's
about that about potty training not a
whole lot going on or just like I said
we're gonna go to Costco and then I
don't think we have anything else but if
we do I will make sure you guys know
what you know what's going on
okay guys I'm just no checking in I
we're gonna take a car
- our detailer so I'm dropping Ollie off
to pick up that car and that way then we
can meet the tellers
yeah so we can meet at the Detailers and
then we'll all get back in the car
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so it's 1:30 so I don't know
no but we did just go get gas so no gas
in the car you have guys in the cars you
can just do anything right anyways
so some of you guys don't well I don't
think many of you guys know if not
majority the guys don't know that I try
to think cuz Omar will be four and I
have gotten pregnant right when I got
certified so I was a certified doula and
if any of you guys are not aware of what
a doula is it is a certified person that
is trained to go in with women that are
delivering babies and be their support
system and I've always had like my heart
has always been one as I judge it as
before it's always been like something
in the medical field like that's just
always been my thing babies were another
one of my big things like I love
anything to do with babies and so I had
taken the courses needed to be able to
become certified to become a doula but
when I got certified within two months
after I got certified I found out I was
pregnant with Omar and so of course I
didn't pursue with it
with his pregnancy from the loss of my
first pregnancy I was definitely afraid
to even move much less be trying to help
deliver babies so I decided not to do it
during my pregnancy but you have to keep
up like your trainings you have to keep
all that stuff up because you know
there's always new things coming out you
know new techniques new all that and
anyways so I was certified as a doula
and my my aim was to work with pregnant
incarcerated women so women that are
incarcerated in prison that were
pregnant because you think about it they
incarcerated women cannot have anybody
in the room of them other than hospital
facility you know hospital staff or the
prison guards or they can have a doula
or and they could have a doula sorry and
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that was where my heart was that because
having a parent that was obviously
incarcerated for majority of my life
I wanted to be that person for a woman
that they needed because you know going
through a birth is such a scary thing
for most women not to even mention going
through birth being locked up I mean
you're shackled to the bed when you're
giving birth I mean what kind of an
experience is you know I mean I couldn't
imagine ever ever ever mean enough area
of shoes to have to be shackled while
giving birth to my precious baby and so
I always wanted to be that system I
didn't have you know they couldn't have
anybody but at least they would have a
familiar face because I would be able to
be there
you know we would get to know each other
prior to the birth because I could be
there to be the support from her
appointments and things like that and
then when she goes in to deliver I would
get the call from the facilities he
explains he is you know has gone into
labor I drop what I'm doing and I head
to the hospital and I'm there for the
birth but the familiar face is always
something that makes a situation be so
much more transitionally common comm you
know and also having a baby in knowing
that pretty much right after you give
birth you're going to be losing the the
custody of your baby can be so hard and
again I could not imagine putting myself
in that position because I don't think
mentally I I could even do that you know
and so anyways the process of why I
wanted to become a dual was for that was
to be there for incarcerated women and
homeless women women that didn't have
anybody that's what I wanted to be there
for but because I got pregnant I think
couldn't do it but I've been really
contemplating you know
I've been really thinking about my my
position like you know I know I missed a
oh I know I missed a I even those things
are great but you know what is something
that's of my identity
what is something that I would love to
do for that I want to do and I have my
business that you know I'm gonna start
and maybe that will be it maybe that
will be what I have been looking for to
do because I could become very
successful in this business that I'm
starting but is that something I want to
do full-time is there something else
that I would like to do on the sidelines
that is more of like a curricular
activity in the sense that doing that
being a doula would be something that
it's not full-time you know you only
want to take on a couple of clients at a
time our patients at a time because you
know you never know when once go into
labor and so if just so say if both of
your you know if both of your patients
were pregnant you know pretty close
within each other and they both went
into labor at the same time you're stuck
because you're gonna have to choose
which one you're going to go to but then
the other person that you're supposed to
be there for is not going to have that
support so for me I was going to
purposely get patients that were months
apart from each other but again that
means that you can only take like three
patients a year pretty much and I wasn't
doing it nowhere for money like that
just wasn't it but your insurance most
most I'm going to say insurances do
cover a doula
so that is something that they do cover
some I'm not saying no but also you know
you can do things to process the money
down but for me personally I wouldn't be
even doing it for money I wouldn't want
money because I would be doing it again
for our car serated women women that
don't have money obviously but I would
volunteer my time just to be able to be
the support for somebody and so anyways
I was really thinking about it last
night and I was just like as I was going
to bed I was thinking you know is this
something know that my babies are
getting older and were you know or
transition into a new season of our life
where they're potty training and yet you
know they're not gonna be in diapers so
they're not and that baby stage anymore
yeah and you know they're not gonna have
been as a meanie all the time what is
something that I can do that I enjoy
that I am passionate about more so you
know along with like my youtubing
because YouTube is a passion of mine
I love it and that makes me put 100%
into it but is there something else that
I want to do as well that I'm passionate
about because really your passions can
be so unlimited you know if you enjoy
certain things or certain things or your
hobbies or interests or whatever why why
not embrace those things and
you know try to meet yourself in the
middle with those so that you can dip
your toes into your passions and so I
really was thinking about it and I'm
gonna do a little bit more research on
the tool up again it's been quite a few
years things have changed I don't know
what the courses now cover I don't know
like you know at the time when I did it
you can do a lot of it online and then
there is hands-on parts which is I have
to go up to Portland to take those
online courses go to Portland to take
the hands-on courses but I was certified
within nine months and so I mean is this
something that I would want to take on
again I don't know how to % I'm gonna
I'm just gonna start doing a little bit
of testing and studying reading up on it
and seeing what's out there you know
you're never too old to start a new
career you're never too old to start a
new passion or you're never too old to
finally do what you're passionate about
you're never too old so you know I don't
know I like I said it might not be
something nuts
the right time right now for us you know
it maybe it's not maybe I need to wait
until you know my kids are just a little
older you know it can't be when my kids
are in full-time school because clearly
you know women how babies anytime of the
day or night
they don't care babies come when they
want to come so you know I mean I can't
time that I can't be like well I can be
a doula during school hours and I can't
be after that because well my patient
could go into labor at 2:00 in the
morning you mean it just happened and
then you've got patients that are in
labor for 36 plus hours so I mean
honestly you know and that's the nice
thing about doing like the incarcerated
women is if they have to have a
c-section you go in with the patient
because clearly again they have nothing
they don't have anybody so you're able
to be a part of everything all the way
down to being able to be there for them
when they are delivering so anyways it's
just something I've been kind of you
know contemplating and throwing back and
forth in my brain and just kind of
digesting it and seeing what I want to
do but you know how again life is so
beautiful that you know again there's no
limit on what you can or can't do
and I don't think there's too much at
any given time but I also like to give a
hundred percent one of the things that I
do so I don't like to fight off more
than I can chew or bite off too much
that I can chew it but it's not be done
at a hundred percent don't want to
answer it so with that I don't want like
you know getting too busy I don't want
my YouTube channel to pay for that
because my youtube channel comes above
everything why because that is my
ultimate I mean I protect my channel for
everything
I mean Amy's life journey is a part of
my family's life and we all know about
it everybody and anybody that's close to
me knows about my channel like they know
and they know that when they see me they
see me with my you know camera out and
they know what I'm doing because that's
my passion and same with my business
that I'm gonna start yeah that's a
school bus honey the business that I'm
gonna be starting fairly soon yeah
that's another thing you know I want to
be able to do a hundred percent I don't
want to do
anyways so for me you know I'm not gonna
do my business even halfway so if I can
only right now do my youtube channel and
my my other business and I need to wait
to do the other stuff then by all means
I I'm gonna do that so it's a definite
no matter what I am doing my business
and I am doing the YouTube but it's just
something that I was and I still am very
passionate about I would love to be I
would love to be a mentor for
incarcerated support if that means you
know being there for them be pregnant or
if I'm gonna be a doula it would
definitely be
but yeah so I don't know I comment below
if any of you guys because you know I
don't always get to ask you guys those
questions if any of you guys are tall or
have been a doula in a past comment
below and share with me your experiences
and your stories I would love love love
to hear them and also comment below if
you have any stories of maybe working
with incarcerated women that are
expecting or
that might have some experience in that
direction and
guys woman leaves any stinky because of
the gas but yeah if you guys would love
to share your stories I would love to
read them it just name is my heart
anyways now I am backtracking back
because that's why I had to click offer
to somebody because all they call me is
like where are you having like I'm on my
way to the Detailers where are you he's
like I need you to turn around and come
back to get me
I'm like okay because he you didn't grab
the recce so now I'm going back
anyways it's 2 o'clock game remember
when I got my coffee was 9:45 when I got
my coffee look look it's literally only
halfway drink I do not drink my coffees
fast I told you guys I never drink my
coffee and that's with me kids will
taking swabs off of it this morning when
I came in before I could stop with them
because I don't like them drinking them
he doesn't has coffee in it now before
when I didn't have coffee in him I
didn't really care because it was just
like it was just the flavor but it
didn't have caffeine in it but now that
I have caffeine in it I'm like no no
like you're not gonna sit there and suck
face on my drink that has so much
caffeine in it you guys already balanced
enough awful imposing so I took away
from them but I just I do not
anywho
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you
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you guys so I am at the evening of
Monday night so I just got done filming
the DIY for tomorrow
yeehaw it's Tuesday crafts corner so I
just got done filming that witch that
I'm so excited for you guys to see this
one like oh my gosh I am so excited so
you guys will see it probably within the
next hour from seeing this video cuz I
kind of tried to like not over do you
guys like overwhelm you guys with videos
so I try and separate them a little bit
within like an hour to like a three hour
span from each other and so within that
amount of time I will upload craft
corner but in like last week I didn't
even get one up because there was so
much going on but yeah so anyways I am
so excited for you guys to see this
craft because uh-huh I don't want to
give it away but you guys will see and
it's a craft that or it's an item that
I'm actually gonna be able to use in my
own personal life so anyways beyond all
that I'm sitting here with a pile of
laundry that clearly needs to be you
know folded because it's not gonna hold
itself and I am waiting for my dinner to
get done because my husband is I oh my
gosh you guys I was struggling so bad
that I almost actually went live so you
guys could talk me out of it because I
was struggling so bad I am craving
Chinese food like the real authentic
Chinese food and I am wanting it so bad
and it's like I can taste it I wanted so
bad so I had text all late and I was
like I am craving food bad I'm wanting
and I sent him pictures of Chinese food
so he comes in and he's like so honey
you want a shrimp sell
I looked at him like you were not funny
okay let me tell you if drama could not
just like come down on my house like
within a million miles of a minute that
would be wonderful
like when crap hits the fan it just goes
flying everywhere sure you have but
usually people use it at different mood
I joke and tell because my son Jeremiah
so he broke his door off the hinges a
while back and we've just had it stuck
behind the table his bed sorry we've had
it laying behind his bed because I'm
just like you know I'm not gonna keep
fixing this door and paying tons of
money to have this thing fixed you know
multiple times because we've already
fixed this door twice so I guess
yesterday he was cleaning his room and
he moved the the door out of behind the
bed so it was kind of just like leaning
up against the wall and I remember Ollie
telling him hey you need to make sure
you lay that back down behind your bed
cuz you know the babies come around it
they could knock it over and not know
you know how strong the door is lo and
behold there goes s Rob did something
with the door and there goes the door
fine smack on her head and her lake so
needless to say I had a screaming blood
curls cream coming from the bedroom I
only imagined there was gonna be blood
everywhere by the time I came out but
wasn't that bad but my daughter is so
overdramatic let me tell ya ya so banks
going over here talking about about
dinner so I opted to have a chicken
salad as I usually do but my husband
comes in and says well honey we have
light blue cheese
we have mustard we have something else
and he's like but we don't have ranch
I'm like blue cheese it is I guess even
though I don't think blue cheese is
gonna taste very well with chicken but
we're gonna do this because anyways my
mouth is watering I am starving so yeah
anyways this is what my cell looks like
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nothing fancy but it will get me by for
tonight um no my Chinese food though
anyways um and also since I talked to
you my mountain of clothing grew to
another load I swear I feel like I'm
never gonna get done the laundry but
anyhow so we didn't do really anything
when we came home from getting gas from
Costco because I came straight in here
mm-hmm got myself ready for my DIY took
the babies to the bathroom answered
messages and then started filming and I
have not stopped I mean once I was done
filming my phone was just like blowing
up with phone calls but I was talking to
my mom so she has a friend that she was
doing hospice care for so my mom is a
certified hospice worker and she did
hospice while incarcerated for some of
the women that were incarcerated that
were on deathbed from whatever passing
of cancer or whatever it might be
my mom and a few other women got to go
through a program to become certified
for hospice and excuse me I remember
when I was a little girl like a little
little I'm gonna say I was like four
maybe five but I'll say I was four and I
have a really good memory just so you
guys know so it's not something I'm like
just like randomly making up but uh I
remember some things when I was three
that's how far back my memory can go
anything her before that I have no no
idea but anyways so I will say I was
either four or five my mom had a job at
a nursing home I mean she was the hair
lady so she was the barber or whatever
you want to call him and she would go in
and she would shave the old men their
beards and stuff and she would cut their
hair and she would cut like the the
woman's hair like trim it and stuff I
don't think she ever did like styles I
don't really think I don't know if they
really ever have styles when there are
nursing homes I don't know I mean now I
don't see why they couldn't but anyways
so I remember her going like I was like
once a month or once every two weeks or
something like that I don't remember
exactly the timing but I do remember her
going and I do remember getting to go
with her and let me tell you when I
would go
I was the biggest little I'll say nice
words I was a brought now looking back I
feel so bad about what I would do but at
the time I thought it was hilarious and
my mom would do I'd be like stop it
but a nursing home while in this
particular nursing home I remember
that a lot of the old people would walk
up and down the halls just up and down
up and down up and down and I would hide
in different little locations and I
would Adam and scare them now tell me
that's not awful what I did and my mom
would be so preoccupied because she's
cutting hair so she's not paying much
attention but I mean she i mean clearly
she would hire she would know at some
point what i was doing but i wasn't
quiet i know i wasn't quiet so i think i
don't know if she got fired from me or
what but she did stop working there
after a while but reason i'm bringing
that up not because of me but she has
always had that personality of loving to
care and so being a being somebody that
can do like hospice that's totally up
her alley like that is 100% her so when
she was incarcerated she got to do that
she got to be with women that were also
incarcerated so they didn't die alone
and they didn't die
you know without somebody holding their
hand or being able to go and get special
things for them that they needed whether
it be drink or just making them be
comfortable you know because prison
guards they are so limited and they've
got so much on their plates that taking
care and giving extra care to you know
incarcerated women or you know whatever
that are dying they just don't have the
time to care for them the way that they
really deserve to be cared for the last
days of their life so anyways
since my mom's been out she hasn't had
any opportunities come available to
continue to do that work well one of her
friends had cancer and my mom and her
you know they were pretty close I mean
they did a lot together and visited a
lot and stuff like that and anyways so
her friend kind of went downhill fast
like they she was in remission doing
really really good over the summer she
helped my mom with a church camp for
kids and stuff like she was doing really
good and then she just went in for her
like a routine like a routine checkup
I don't know exactly when but I want to
say was like the beginning of fall and
they found a spot on her lawn and so
they did obviously some testing and
stuff and it came back cancerous and
very short amount of months she was
pretty much full of cancer and one thing
led to another and she ended up in the
hospital and my mom was going back and
forth helping her you know the best she
could until the point where my mom said
you know I know her dying wishes are to
die at home not to die in a hospital so
she hooked up Hospice with having them
bring all the equipment to her home and
being able to an ambulance brought her
friend to my mom's home and got her
situated and stuff like that and then my
mom cared for her for I'll say about a
week about a week we can have something
like that and it was you know was a good
learning experience for my mom being
because the only other time that she did
it was when she was in prison so it was
a lot different than doing it on the
outside and doing it in her home
she said it was very very tough because
do it in your home you get no break like
your 24/7 so my mom was like falling
asleep standing up because she hadn't
slept in days because she was taking
care of her friend which her friend
wasn't sleeping because you know she was
kind of like starting to not become so
aware of the surroundings and I was even
on the phone with her at one point
talking to my mom and just getting like
catching up with my mom and I could hear
her friend in the background just
screaming at my mom like you know
because she was she just was so
uncomfortable and you know my mom is
doing absolutely everything she could to
keep her friend as peaceful and
comfortable as possible but things led
to different things and unfortunately my
mom had to have her go back to the
hospital because they were lacking a
medicine that she needed and they
couldn't administer it at the house or
something so anyways her friend Annette
passing um a few hours after leaving my
mom's home and she ended up passing at
the hospital
but since then my mom was kind of the
one that overseen her friend's house
because her friend was not married
didn't have children nothing and so my
mom kind of was left with the
responsibility of going and taking care
of this home well I guess her friend was
kind of like a hoarder but it wasn't a
bad hoarder like my mom so when she
walked and she had never been to her
friend's home her friend always came to
my mom's home my mom's like now I kinda
understand why she gets why but
she was a hoarder I guess her friend had
pretty good amount of money she was a
nurse at one point yeah but she had a
lot of money because she was left a lot
of money from her family when they
passed and so she had amounts of money
that she would spend and I guess it just
turned into like a hoarding shopping so
my mom so wish you walked in from
selling to floor wall-to-wall it was
covered in brand-new bags and boxes of
stuff like still brand-new in boxes and
so my mom was just like so overwhelmed
because she was just like oh my gosh
like I really don't even know what to do
with all this like I am so just like
whoa and so my mom contacted a couple
people and they came over to help
because my mom is just like I I'm not
gonna be able to do all this myself
because her friend was renting a home
and so my mom has to get all this stuff
out because of course the landlord the
lady only had her home paid up until
decent role
November 30th because December 1st she
would be due to make her payment again
but she's my wife so the landlord's been
really good with my mom and working with
her and stuff and under its beam
understanding movement moment her stands
at the landlord really wants to get the
stuff out clearly you know when he needs
his money to for the home so anyways um
my mom called a couple people and
they've been sifting through things and
this lady had like seven brand-new minja
bullets the blenders brand new stolen
boxes filled in everything seven of them
seven you guys shred a brand new
pressure cooker smell the Box never been
touched
she had Corningware brand new still in
the box never even touched my mom so
with all of this her friend told my mom
that when she passes that she can have
anything she wants in the house she can
have all of it if she wants so my mom
was like oh okay you know she didn't she
didn't think anything
oh my mom said Amy it's like walking
into a store like literally like a store
she she bought a lot of doubles so she
just bought a 47 inch brand-new TV my
mom says she's probably had it for maybe
a month my mom got it um she's got bags
of humpbacks upon bags of like hygiene
stuff and they're all sealed brand-new
still and packages boxes they haven't
even been open I mean my mom said Amy
you would be amazed so my mom calls me
tonight so she's been kind of asking me
like if there's anything that I want I'm
just like no I you know I I don't really
need anything you know but my mom's a
cool you know I'll keep my eyes out and
if I see anything I'll call you or you
know I'll pull it aside or whatever and
ask you later is it clear
no problem so she calls me tonight and
so my mom's been working on this house
for about three days I haven't really
been able to talk to her much for the
Schism it's so busy literally trying to
get this house cleaned out and plus they
had to like go and open up a storage
unit just to put this lady stuff in
there so they can figure out what
they're gonna do with it all because she
clearly does not know what to do with
all of this so much
of course my mom's gonna donate a lot of
it to needy people where my mom lives
because where my mom lives it's a very
there's a lot of like people that don't
have a lot of money and so my mom's
gonna donate a lot of stuff to people
that are like massively in need of stuff
but there's like some stuff that my
mom's like there's just you know you
really would have to have a reason to
have it not just you know it's not like
shampoos and stuff you know that's tough
mom I was just gonna distribute out like
I mean yeah so anyway she calls me
tonight and she's like Amy I have two
trash bags full of acrylic paints
crafting stuff you name it it's heated
these bags are huge and they're stuffed
she has a brand-new laminator
never been open she then she's like and
I she's like I don't know if you're
gonna use it or not and she's like but
do you think you would want an espresso
machine I was like what do you mean
she's like it's a brand-new espresso
machine like she said it's like one of
the really really expensive brands and
there's a another part that comes with
it that's in the same brand that will
crush up the beans and make them like
all really fine and stuff um but it's
like a set so it's the espresso machine
and then it has that she's like it's the
kind that you would find in like a
coffee shop she's like I don't even know
why she would have bought something like
this but she really did buy it and my
mom is like but it's brand new it's and
I even been open she's like do you want
it and I'm like if you're not gonna take
it I'm not gonna shoot it down because I
decide to throw my Keurig machine away
um I was like so I'm not gonna gripe
with you like that and she's like she
started laughing and she's like you know
she's like if I even had an idea you
know the things that her friend had is
just so much but
reason I'm telling the story
trying anyways is that I'm so proud of
my mom to take on a job that could be
something so hard when a family is dying
a family member the family around them
is so overwhelmed with emotion that
there's just they're not as good of
support that they're needing to be
because you know they have their own
emotions they're going through from the
loss of what they're gonna go through
and so being able to step in and be that
emotional support for a family that is
having a member passing away I can only
imagine how much that means to people
and so to know that my mom actually has
stepped up and has taken on this role in
such a time when people need it the most
and she can hold that down and be so
compassionate towards them and so loving
and you know when her friend was there
at the very end you know of her life she
was hitting my mom and pulling her hair
and you know screaming is that because
she was so just she's just was she was
miserable because they were going
through some medication issues with the
hospital and stuff and she wasn't
getting the right type of medicine to
calm her down in her nerves and you know
all my mom could do was continue to talk
so softly to her friend and you know
reassure her that she's there and she
curled up next to her friend on her
hospice bed and just held her and you
know even though her friend had just
come done beating her basically
and my mom said you know it it just
breaks my heart to see people like this
and not have that
love and support that they deserve as
they're saying you know as they're going
out of life and you know she's like
never once does it make you mad when
you're being beat on because you know
that it's not them you can set that part
aside and be able to still continue to
be that compassionate person that is
needed during that time and I'm just so
proud of my mom she has come so far from
just a few months ago you know I think
my mom has done so much growing and I
think that me and her have done so much
growing together that I see our
relationship in such a different way and
it's so amazing that I can now look at
something that my mom is doing and be
proud of her and say that's my mom
that's my mom she's doing this and be so
proud of her for something that she
holds so dearly and I know that her
whole heart is into it so it just you
know you know my mom wasn't thinking
about you know what she could get out of
this situation or anything in that
manner because like I said I don't had
no idea what this friend's house looked
like she had never been there but she
was just like you know yeah you know she
told her friend I will definitely take
over your house and clean it and you
know a box everything I'm like don't
worry about it I don't want you to
stress about that like that's the last
thing you need to worry about I'll take
care of it all you know I'll make sure
that it gets put in places where it
needs to go and you know I'll donate
things you know for you and stuff she's
like don't worry about that because I
was one of her friends as wishes is that
my mom would go through things and you
know do what she felt needed to be done
because she trusts my mom and so you
know
my mom didn't do it thinking that she
was gonna go into any of this she did
not know until after the fact because
she didn't go to the house until two
days after her friend passed away and
she called me like right after she went
in there and she was just like I can't
believe that I never knew this about my
friend like I never knew that this is
like her home like I never imagined that
she was a hoarder and she wasn't a
filthy hoarder that's the thing is she
wasn't one of those that collected
garbage and stuff it was just she was a
Shopaholic I guess is what you want to
call it she was like a Shopaholic /water
because she would save everything in the
sense that you know she would buy buy
buy buy buy and then she would never get
rid of it so that's where the hoarding
came in but she was a Shopaholic so she
wasn't a filthy person like my mom said
her house was clean like I she's like I
you know I definitely got to go over
there and just like white walls and
stuff like that like I I know I have to
do those things but she just bought so
much that she lost control of where it
was going
so that's why when my mom would walk in
the house and see nothing but bags and
boxes from selling to floor it wasn't
because it was garbage they were all
brand-new things and so you know my mom
was like I just I can't believe that
like I would never imagine that so you
know I know that my mom's heart was in
it for the right reason so it wasn't
like oh well I know what's in her house
and I know she's got all brand-new stuff
and I'm gonna take it all did it like
that was never even a thought in her
mind she didn't know that that's what
she was getting into until after her
friend passed so anyways
moral of myself story is you never know
kind of like that the reference don't
ever
judge a book by its cover and I guess
you can look at it in this situation
that you know you can look at this
person and think that they have nothing
you know she never never bloated about
having stuff and you know and my mom's
like I would never imagine her to have a
home like that and you know you walk in
and it's a total different storybook and
so you know it just it really it really
set me apart to really look at my mom
and be like wow you know my mom just did
something so amazing and she wants to
continue into this field only difference
is she said she would never do it in her
home again she would have to do it
outside of her home because it was just
too much like she went she needs her way
to him she needs her way time and she
wasn't obviously getting that when it
was in her home not that she had a
problem with that because clearly she
wanted her friend there but for future
times she would definitely want it to be
in a different atmosphere rather than
bringing it into her home so that she
can have that break and that recharge
time because she didn't get a recharge
time all her friend was there but yeah
so I just got done talking to my mom a
little bit ago and she's just you know
she's just getting tired and you know a
little bit overwhelmed because there's
just so much because she's trying to
take care of
bless her heart because her friend
didn't have and her friend had family
but she was kind of estranged from them
and so really my mom is all my friend
all my friend my mom is all her friend
had pretty much so she's just getting
tired you know and I I just told her I
said well you know you know my door is
always open and you can come and kick
your feet up and you know I'll make you
a cup of coffee and you can just relax
for a little bit I mean I don't know if
your grandkids will let you but you
could try but you know I just I'm so
proud of her and how far she's come
because she's come a long way in a very
short amount of time lately and I think
that has just been I think because
I too am taking so many strides and big
steps and leaps in my own life that I
think my mom has seen that and so it's
allowing me to also view her in a
different way and a different aspect
than I have before
so anyways enough about all that because
look it it's not how this much talk I
haven't hardly even eaten I need to eat
and I need to hurry up because I need to
go take a shower because I really want
to shower so I'm gonna close my blog you
guys I hope you guys enjoyed today and I
will check in with you guys tomorrow at
some point in the morning until then
sweet dreams you guys I will see you in
the morning
